Acceptance [ əkˈsɛpt(ə)ns ]
(n.) the
process or fact of being received as adequate, valid, or suitable.
- Manal Qureshi
The transition from an immature adolescent to a mature know-it-all teenager is tiresome and often lonely. You constantly struggle between knowing nothing and having to know everything. You want to fit in amongst your peers so you’re not picked on, and you do things you already know, or are expected to know. You are expected to keep your head down, follow the herd, and never ask questions. But curiosity is a trait that humans have carried with them proudly since the beginning of time! One always seeks what seems out of their reach.
Growing up entails fresh new information at every corner that we turn to. We finally grasp enough consciousness to decide what we like and what we don’t, be it the simpleton choice of clothing, to more complex stuff like hobbies. But even then, the societal stigma of being restricted inside a box may hinder the positive growth that every young teenager should necessarily go through. We’re expected to live within the boundaries, pre-decided for us, just because that’s how society is!
Park, from Eleanor and Park written by Rainbow Rowell, experiences the same in his day-to-day life. Although the novel revolves around Eleanor’s struggles – battling the fine line between being too masculine and too feminine being a major one – Park’s journey with his self-expression is commendable. While both of them struggle with conforming to their traditional feminine and masculine traits, Park experiences inadequacy and unrest when he notices his father being critical of something as simple as wearing some eye makeup.
The story being set in the 1980s shows Park’s father as a traditional white American male, who puts his masculinity on a high pedestal. This becomes upsetting for Park when he grows up to take after his mother. Unlike “regular” boys, Park is petite and not traditionally masculine. He enjoys music and his comic books, instead of hobbies such as taekwondo, that his father pushes him for. Park’s father is rigid when it comes to his values, and he wants Park to be his idealized version of a male kid – one that enjoys hunting and is athletic, which limits Park from simply being himself. Rather than the adult allowing the young teenager from exploring his likes, he finds himself being discouraged and shut in a box again by his father.
At school, he finds himself wondering if he would be ostracized by his peers for wearing a simple eyeliner. But when he finally goes for it one day, he finds his peers admiring him, or being completely nonchalant, both of which came completely as unexpected responses.
His struggle with finding acceptance at home was an interference in his overall growth, but once his father recognized that Park didn’t have to be conventionally masculine and display male behaviour to be a smart young man, Park’s confidence shot up the roof drastically. All Park needed was a nod of approval from his father to let all the emotions of being a ‘disappointment’ dissolve.
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